Cooperative Overlap (or Collaborative Overlap) is a term coined by Georgetown University professor of linguistics and author Deborah Tannen, in which the listener starts talking along with the speaker, not to cut them off but rather to validate or show they’re engaged in what the other person is saying. In conversations, do you have aContinue reading “What is Cooperative Overlap? Isn’t It Just Interrupting?”
Category Archives: Open-Ended Questions
Choosing to Stay Confronted in Conversations About Race
How often are you involved in conversations about racism, marginalization, colonialism, and/or other issues related to race? Perhaps these are conversations about systemic issues, or perhaps they reflect personal lived experiences. Often these topics are not an explicit part of the conversation, they are under the surface – not necessarily unacknowledged, but unnamed nonetheless. ExplicitContinue reading “Choosing to Stay Confronted in Conversations About Race”
Has Your Brain Tricked You into Believing Everything is Worse?
The age-old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” is a proverb about envy and perspective, but there’s also a logical reason behind the phrase. Stand on a lawn and look down, and you see all the spaces between blades of grass; the brown soil and dirt underneath, which balance out theContinue reading “Has Your Brain Tricked You into Believing Everything is Worse?”
How to Give Feedback without Triggering the Fight or Flight Response
If you’re a parent, bring to mind the characteristics you see in your children that come from you – physical/character traits, or phrases they’ve learned up from hearing you say them over the course of years. Needless to say, your child is their own person; they are not you, but they are an expression ofContinue reading “How to Give Feedback without Triggering the Fight or Flight Response”
Hearing vs. Fixing: Are You Supporting How They Want to be Supported?
Have you ever shared a frustration, a sadness, or some other strong emotion with someone, only for that person to jump right into “fixing” mode? Or maybe even tell you why you shouldn’t feel that way? Maybe they even agree with you, but somehow their agreement feels diminishing of your own experience in some way.Continue reading “Hearing vs. Fixing: Are You Supporting How They Want to be Supported?”
Using the “Whoa Test” in Everyday Conversations
Are you familiar with deepfakes? These are manipulated videos using AI technology to make a person appear to do or say something they did not, and they are more than just convincingly believable – it takes active disbelief in what your eyes are seeing to know that some deepfakes are in fact, fake. And deepfakeContinue reading “Using the “Whoa Test” in Everyday Conversations”
Keeping Faith in Authenticity
Formal, structured conversations have a particular feeling unlike any other. Think of job interviews. How many have you been a part of – either as the interviewee or one of the interviewers? Remember the tension in the air? The desire to impress? The fear of screwing up? In the executive coaching work I do, role-playsContinue reading “Keeping Faith in Authenticity”
Keeping Questions Casual
Here in the US, it’s the spookiest time of year. No, not Halloween… Election season! I wonder if you too have been receiving emails (or texts) with calls for immediate action, and questions like “Why haven’t you [donated/called/supported]?!” The uptick in demands – from both sides of the political spectrum – is always alarming duringContinue reading “Keeping Questions Casual”
Stop Solving Problems! The Value of Wondering and Asking
When you were young, did you listen to the radio and hope your favorite song would come on because it was the only way to hear it? Did you go to a Blockbuster Video with options of movies to rent because you knew your first choice might be out? During dinner table conversations, did youContinue reading “Stop Solving Problems! The Value of Wondering and Asking”
Claiming Space and Creating Space
How often are you talked over by someone in a meeting? How often do you talk over someone else? How often do you find yourself listening to someone go on and on, with no real entry point to offer your own thoughts? How often would others say the same about you? Now think about aContinue reading “Claiming Space and Creating Space”
Building Bridges Leadership 