Have you found yourself reflecting on “five years ago…” this week? I have been part of several conversations about this, and overheard others. Coronavirus cases first appeared around the world in late 2019. For many readers in the Western world, however, the most direct impacts began in March 2020 – with lockdowns and other sweeping changes beginning five years ago this week. Changes that started with the hope of short-term impacts lasted a year or more, and in some cases, led to permanent changes in the way we do things. Along the way, many of us experienced deep loss of loved ones, jobs, or income, as well as profound life changes, and, for a while at least, changes to our daily routines that none of us could have predicted. Many of us still carry scars from that period of our life.
At this five-year mark, it’s worth bringing attention to the emotions that we may be experiencing – what psychologists call an “Anniversary reaction.” For many of us, this may come in the form of detailed memories of what we did on the day we received news that our company was switching to a work-from-home status, or when we found out our kids’ schools would be closing. Sometimes these memories can come with overwhelming sadness and grief, and with so much taking place in the intervening five years, each person’s reaction will be unique. Some may take pride in new projects or innovative business developments that would not have happened prior to Covid. Some may feel more fulfilled because of work changes that wouldn’t have seemed possible prior to Covid, or by being able to spend more time with their children and/or significant other. Some people seem forever changed; I know several people who were very social prior to March 2020, and who, five years on, prefer their own company – and not just for health concerns. Some may just feel like Covid was a long time ago, and life has moved on.
If not acknowledged in some way, these emotions can be, at minimum, distracting. On a deeper level, they can feel isolating. So how can we create an environment of authentic community for our teams and organizations? Certainly this was more marked by organizations for the one-year anniversary, in March 2021. At Harvard University, the department I worked in for more than a decade held an online event for employees to mark one year of working from home. I heard of many other organizations holding similar gatherings at that time. These events – ceremonies, in the traditional sense of marking an occasion – can be powerful acknowledgements of the range of emotions we’re all feeling. But five years on, with so much else going on in the world, I haven’t heard of any organization holding such an event. And yet, many of us are hit by a flood of memories when we think about what life was like five years ago, in March 2020. So how could you honor your team’s emotions – and your own – this week?
This Week’s Tip:
For you:
- Make time to check in with yourself. Take some time to unplug and reflect on this last five years. This might come through a long walk, a purposeful conversation with someone you trust, journaling, or simply being still and thinking back over the last five years, and in particular, the height of the pandemic from 2020-2021. Pay attention to the losses, the changes, the learnings, the successes, and the unexpected joy that you have experienced. Notice the emotions that come up as you reflect on these.
- Share these reflections with someone you trust, whether this is someone you work with, or someone from another part of your life.
For your team:
- Create a space to share team reflections. This might be an acknowledgement during a meeting followed by space to share, or people’s reflections could be gathered using an online form which allows anonymity. If you choose to use an online format, do not use something that will pop-up on users’ screens with a new post (like Slack or an equivalent); these reflections may bring strong emotions and should be shared in an agreed-upon ‘safe space’ group setting.
- Make space for all experiences. Acknowledge each experience, whether it matches your own or not. Encourage sharing of what people have learned and how they have grown if that doesn’t come up naturally.
- Share resources where appropriate. Check in with your HR representative to discuss what is appropriate. Do not suggest to a colleague or employee that they seek professional help, but this may be a good time to use a group email to remind everyone of the resources that are available to them, or ask your HR representative to do so.
If you hold a gathering or an online space for reflections, let us know how it goes – we’d love to hear your experiences.
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* By coincidence, the first piece I wrote about anniversary reactions in 2021 included a meme adapting a line from the show WandaVision – “But what is grief if not love persevering?” This time around, a Scarlet Witch quote of a relevant phrase: “A scar is not a wound. A scar is a wound defeated.“
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