During a series of team building activities with a client this week, it was noticeable that one newer member of the group shared ideas that were shut down or ignored by the rest of the group – including the director of the department. Rather than point that out in the moment, I let the group continue to find some success in the first two activities their way. During the debrief, I asked the group for observations, and a couple were very open about the fact that they’d heard that person’s ideas and chosen to ignore them in both opening activities – precisely because the director had shut them down.
To be clear, this was a high-functioning and supportive group. There was no open hostility, and the group clearly cared about each other. Shutting down ideas was not done with any malice; time was limited and quick decisions had to be made. Within their assumptions about the activity, the director had unilaterally decided that the ideas shared by the newer team member wouldn’t work, and everyone trusted the director enough to follow suit.
So I gave them another round with the second activity – this time, incorporating the new team member’s ideas. Lo and behold, the group was much more successful than they had been previously: this was a timed event, and they cut their time by more than half!
After the celebrations, the director suggested that a good takeaway was to always push back when your ideas aren’t listened to fully by those around you. But while this may work for some people in some settings, I was pleased to hear members of the team immediately reflect on why that might not happen. A number of factors came up as barriers: someone’s cultural upbringing, previous work cultures, and successes and traumas in pushing back in the past. Depending on any of those factors, someone might not feel safe in pushing back if their ideas have already been shut down, even if it’s clear to them that their idea will bring a better overall result.
The group left the activity with a plan. Well, two plans. 1) Listen to their new team member’s ideas, and 2) Talk with each other about their past work cultures – not just once but as a way to ensure respect and strong communication on an ongoing basis. Their reflection questions were helpful enough that we might all be able to use them this week.
This Week’s Tip:
Begin conversations with your team, or others you work with, about their previous work cultures, and seek to learn what you can do to create a better work culture for them. Sample questions that might be helpful:
- What’s the best workplace culture you’ve worked in? What made it good for you? Did everyone in your workplace feel the same way you did?
- What’s the worst workplace culture you’ve worked in? What made it bad for you? Did everyone in your workplace feel the same way you did?
- Are there times you felt your ideas were truly listened to and incorporated in a previous workplace? What made that possible?
- Are there times you felt your ideas were ignored or shut down in a previous workplace? What contributed to that happening?
- What do you like about the communication processes on this team? What do you wish was different?
Building these kinds of questions into your ongoing conversations as a team – rather than treating them as “interview” questions – can help you to see what works for each unique individual. It won’t mean you’ll necessarily be able to build a culture that is perfect for everyone, but by authentically working to incorporate what you hear, you will become more aware of what works best for each individual. Through that, you can help each member of your team to feel heard, and respected for who they are and what they have to offer.
Try using these question this week, and let us know how it goes – we’d love to hear from you. As always, you can subscribe to our feed here, or sign up for our weekly newsletter to get these articles directly in your inbox.
Building Bridges Leadership 