What’s something you’ve heard a colleague or co-worker say recently that has impressed you – or maybe even inspired you? What are some small actions you’ve seen someone take – maybe someone in customer service – that have left you feeling just a little brighter about your day?
In the last couple of weeks there has been a huge focus on the words of a handful of people: Charlie Kirk, Jimmy Kimmel, Brendan Carr, and Donald Trump to name just a few (yes, indeed, these are all white men). In some cases, the words themselves were ignored – or taken out of context – in favor of an interpretation; as Ta-Nehisi Coates pointed out, the vast majority of eulogies and articles about Charlie Kirk did not include any of the man’s actual words. And then, of course, in each case there was the secondary wave – what would Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart, or Joe Rogan or Elizabeth Warren or AOC say about this latest thing?
All of these, of course, are people ‘out there.’ These aren’t people any of us know. Some of them have an outsized impact on our lives in ways that are inescapable, but these are not people most of us have any direct interactions with. Meanwhile, we each interact with dozens of real people each day (while researching this, I read a variety of pieces suggesting that we interact with 10-20 people each day; a figure that seems low to me, although I realize that a lot depends on a person’s lifestyle, work situation, and home environment). Studies suggest that over the course of our lifetime we might interact with as many as 80,000 unique people. I wonder, if we were paying attention, what we might learn from their words, and their actions? What if we paid more attention to the people ‘in here’?
For example, I recently had a long phone call about an insurance claim – something that I went into fully armed for combat to fight my case – and the claim agent I spoke to started with a gentle tone which immediately lowered the temperature of the situation; she listened, offered guidance, and throughout she helped me see that this was something we could easily rectify with just a couple of steps along the way. In another example, an executive coach I work alongside is always quick with words of encouragement to other coaches, offering very specific observations about what they saw the other person do that was effective, and what they were taking away from it. Another example: a woman at the front desk of my local library who seems to remember everyone’s names – she greets me by name every time I come in – something that seems like it would be impossible with so many people, and yet it makes such a difference to be greeted by name that she makes a real effort to learn them. And one more example: an experiential education facilitator I work alongside who is one of the best I’ve ever seen, and who is always learning new activities to run because they want to continue to grow (a true example of a “student of,” not an “expert in”).
What would it look like to pay more attention to the people ‘in here’ this week?
This Week’s Tip:
Each day this week, pick one real-life interaction you had with someone that day to reflect on and learn from. This could be with someone you work with, or spend time with, or maybe even more of a transactional interaction – but a longer interaction would usually provide more fruit. Consider what that person said – the actual words – that were impactful for you, and how they approached the conversation with you (tone, level of interaction and collaboration, action items, closing the conversation etc.). What’s one thing you can take away from that interaction and try to implement for yourself? Each day’s takeaway doesn’t need to be something complicated; in fact, the simpler the better. When you try implementing it yourself, it may not work perfectly first time, and that’s okay – but if it inspired you in some way, it might be worth trying again. Over the course of your week, jot down your takeaways – one for each day – even if you don’t find they’re a good fit for you, it’s still worth having a note to look back on every now and then about the things other people say or do that impacted you.
Try this out this week, and let us know how it goes! We’d love to hear from you.
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Building Bridges Leadership 