Image adapted from Jackson Simmer / Unsplash.
Recently I had the privilege of co-leading a day-long program for immigrant families from Central and South America. The program was designed as a day of respite and fun during turbulent times, with team building and collaborative problem solving as key focus points, and a 40-foot rock climbing tower thrown in for good measure. Families from Guatemala, El Salvador, Venezuela and Nicaragua came together, shared their immigrant experience, and laughed… a lot. One teenager commented at the end of the day that this was the first time she had seen her mother genuinely smile since they came to the US over a year ago. “I recognize that smile… I haven’t seen it in a long time.”
(Joyful moments aside, I also got the tiniest sliver of a glimpse into these families’ daily life when a large black SUV pulled up just yards from our group. Everyone responsible for the program experienced a sharp intake of breath, and found our attention in full focus on the vehicle – ready to spring into action – until it turned out this was simply someone parking to walk their dog.)
Growing up in the UK, I learned French and German at high school, but never Spanish. My co-lead for the program spoke more Spanish than I’d realized ahead of time, and a refugee case worker who spent the day with us also spoke some, but the translator we had believed would be there on behalf of the families didn’t show up. The parents in each family spoke very little English. We needed help.
Enter: the kids.
The children – many teenagers, with some in elementary age – jumped in to translate between English and Spanish fluently. And it was clear from the group’s reactions that the translation was accurate. They even helped us use technology to talk to each other and build connections we otherwise would have missed. These kids were beyond helpful. In fact, I don’t know what we would have done without them. They were incredible partners; truly inspiring.
And yet… as the case worker pointed out, this is the role these kids find themselves in every single day. The kids interpret and translate both for, and on behalf of, their adult family members. From English to Spanish, and Spanish to English. This might be for fun, trivial things, but it’s also often for serious matters with lasting consequences.
I came away feeling both enormously grateful for these children, and also that I had reinforced this too-adult role for them, rather than giving them an opportunity to have their own day of respite and fun. To be clear, we didn’t ask them – they stepped forward to translate – and of course I hope this was a great experience for them and they came away feeling proud… but I also wish they could have had an opportunity to simply be kids.
And I was also left wondering who else I – or you – might rely on a lot without realizing the impact that reliance might have on them.
This Week’s Tip:
Reflect on the people you rely on at work, or elsewhere, and show them some kindness this week. This could take many forms – try to determine what would be meaningful to them, whether that’s a handwritten note, or taking them out for coffee, or a gift of some kind – but use this as an opening to have a conversation about how much you rely on them, and check in with them about that. How has that worked, or not worked, for them? Even if they say that this has been fine for them, consider what it might look like for you to rely on them less. Would that mean taking on more yourself? If so, what form would that take? Could this mean making some phone calls yourself that you might have previously delegated, or automating some tasks? Ask the person you’ve been leaning on for their ideas of how to improve processes – they will almost certainly have some!
Try this out this week, and let us know how it goes! We’d love to hear from you.
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