What’s Your “Tiffany Problem”?

If you were reading a fantasy novel or watching a show set in medieval times, and a character was introduced as “Tiffany,” what would your reaction be? Chances are, it might stick out like a Starbucks cup in Game of Thrones. This is because Tiffany is thought of by most people as a modern-sounding name (if you grew up in the ’80s, you might instantly start singing “I Think We’re Alone Now”). But in fact, Tiffany is a medieval name – short for Theophania -from the 12th century, and was used widely at the time. Because it fell out of fashion in the 17th century, and only started to be used again in the 20th, it is viewed by most as a modern name. Hence, “the Tiffany Problem” in historical and fantasy fiction: a detail that would in fact be accurate for the era, but would instantly cause readers/viewers to balk, and detract from the work as a whole. (The term was coined by author Jo Walton, and is often described as as example of “how reality is unrealistic.”)

Historical names aside, many of us face something like Tiffany Problems in our projects on a regular basis. Think of how many times you’ve presented a project after a lot of work, only to have a listener get hung up on a minor detail, which then derails the conversation and momentum. How many times have you come away from a meeting feeling like people missed the forest for the trees; they became fixated on something that may set the project back, or at least lower interest in it. This can be incredibly demoralizing, and lead to someone feeling like their work doesn’t matter. On the flip side, how many times have you been the one who has fixated on a detail, and left somebody else feeling that way? Or seen someone else do it?

Of course, sometimes details are worth getting hung up on, but it’s easy to do that without showing understanding of the project as a whole. Even with the best of intentions – the idea that we take it as read that everything else is good because we’re only focusing on something small – we can leave someone deflated.

So what can we do in each situation to a) avoid getting derailed, and b) leave everyone feeling heard and appreciated for their work?

This Week’s Tips:

When a situation arises, call it out and name it as a “Tiffany Problem.” Explain the term so others have it in their lexicon also.

• If you’re presenting a project: If derailment is predictable because of certain details that are incidental to the project as a whole, consider leaving them out at the presentation stage, even knowing that you will add them later. If it’s not predictable and happens anyway, call it out as a Tiffany Problem, even if only in your head. Acknowledge the person’s concern about that detail so they feel heard, let them know you’re making a note of it, and then ask what other thoughts they have on the project as a whole.

• If someone is presenting to you: Write notes of any details you’re finding yourself fixated on so they’re out of your head and you can stop thinking about them. Show appreciation for the project as a whole and all the details that were handled well – the more specific you can be, the better. Then let them know there is one detail you don’t want to get derailed by, but that you’d like to ask for clarification on. This leaves them feeling valued and heard for the rest of the work they’ve done, and that this one detail is not make-or-break, nor is it the only piece worth discussion.

Try these out this week, and let us know how it goes. We’d love to hear from you!

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